Not Being Malicious to Other Women

1timothy311

Hello lovelies! I have a thought for you today.. What if every woman was understanding of the fight that each and every other woman was fighting, and was encouraging and considerate of what she was going through?!

My aunt posted on Facebook today a meme that read, “Be nice to everyone. You don’t know if they have a toddler at home.”

What would it be like if we decided to not be malicious towards other women, but was loving, caring, and supportive?

One word. AMAZING.

In 1st Timothy, we are told that women must not be malicious, but temperate.. Can you think of a time when you were dealing with another woman and you were not as sweet as you should have been? Were you a little annoyed with her children yelling in the store, or the fact that you had to wait for her get her coupons or WIC in order in the grocery line? Next time, instead of rolling your eyes and stamping your feet, try thinking about her, about her life. She might be embarrassed, struggling to pay bills, newly single.. or maybe she doesn’t mean to be sassy, she is just tired because she has a toddler at home.. or two, or three..

Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things.

1 Timothy 3:11

I have to admit that when an older woman smiles graciously at me when my children are hungry, tired, and begging me for a treat and I am just about to loose it in the grocery store.. it means THE WORLD to me. It’s like I’m not alone in this whole motherhood thing. You know?

Why is it that our first instinct is to {sadly} be rude and to judge? That little green monster that thinks everyone else’s lives are better and somehow easier than ours. That we are the only ones who know what it is like to be tired and we feel that our struggles are not understood or appreciated by others. Jealousy is a powerful sin and it is not a new feeling. Yes, it is easier to become jealous now because of social media and watching other women’s lives on the screen.. however, even during the time when Jesus walked the earth, there were catty women and fits of jealousy.

How are we able to combat jealousy in our lives today?

Understanding.

When that mom is standing in line at the grocery store, with the screaming toddlers and the WIC checks, and the red cheeks.. flustered because she is trying to hurry.. I want to encourage you to practice having your first reaction to be a smile. A polite and understanding smile. And then, take a deep breath and try to focus on what she must be going through. Is she struggling to put food on the table for her kids? Is she fighting loneliness, depression, and shame? Think about how tired she must be with kids that are not being obedient, {which we ALL know is not always mom’s fault} and how absolutely stressed she must feel.

I want you to encourage her and say, “It’s ok, I understand. Take your time, no need to stress.” {trust me, it feels good too!}

The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.

Proverbs 4:7

Congratulations.

What about the pang you feel in your gut when you see your friends buying a new house, a new car, or a new boat.. going on vacation, putting their kids in private school, or starting a new business? Or when you see your girlfriend posting on Facebook about how much weight she has lost, and you are struggling loose a pound? {I know, it’s hard!}

Why is it so hard to see other people happy? We seem to always think the grass is greener on the other side, however, the grass is green where you water it. Always remember how blessed you are.

Have you ever tried to just say congratulations and smile for them? It is not always easy but it is ALWAYS worth it. Take a break from social media if you have to. Because it is never worth having a heavy heart of jealousy over something that a person is only proud of, and is not doing anything to you at all. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee they have no idea you are feeling jealous whatsoever.

Not only do I want to encourage you to be happy for them {genuinely} but also to understand that social media is not real life. People tend to share the good stuff, the flashy and fancy stuff of their lives. Think about it, do you share all the bad stuff, real life, the getting pooped on twice a day and the ‘haven’t showered in four days’ stuff..? No? {me either}

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife {or husband}…or anything that is your neighbor’s.

Exodus 20:17

Prayer.

When you find your self in a spiral of checking your social media sites, being jealous, and not keeping to your chores.. PRAY.

Praying for God to change your heart is the best thing to do in situations like these. Not praying for God to simply change your mind or make your situation different.. pray that God changes your heart!

Think of David, how after everything he did to sin against God, he sat in the stillness and asked God to change his heart. When we talk to God, in earnest, and ask Him to guide us, He will. God changed David’s circumstances and made him King! And David, he became a man after God’s heart.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51:10

Why is it important to make being ‘not-jealous’ a good habit?

God has a plan for all of us and it is easy to loose sight of this while watching other people follow their own paths. And let’s be honest, we all get jealous sometimes, no matter where we are in our walk with Christ. It is wonderful that we have a gracious and merciful God, who is forgiving of our sins and understanding of our hearts.

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:15-16

Having discontent in our hearts is a poison that does not allow us to see all the wonder that God has planned for us, and if we are focused on other’s successes, we might miss our own!

A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

Proverbs 14:30

I hope you all are encouraged to take a deep breath and make sure that you are treating everyone as you would want to be treated, {yes, I went there..} especially other women, other moms. We are all in this fight together, raising up the future, and we are all under the same pressure, carrying the same weight – just in different ways.

Thank you lovelies. Jesus loves you!

Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is strong as death, jealous is fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the LORD.

Song of Solomon 8:6

6 thoughts on “Not Being Malicious to Other Women

  1. As hard as I try not to judge, it keeps happening. I need to always be making a conscious effort – I don’t know why it’s my “default setting”

  2. It’s better to be considerate and sensitive of others rather than to just them so quickly. We’ve all been victims, so why should we continue the trend instead of break it, right?

  3. So right?! We ALL struggle. Deeply. And I love your guy’s honesty! It is SO hard to make compassion become our ‘default’ setting, however, it IS what God wants for us. And when we add it to our prayer life, you bet, it helps.

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