Loving Your Spouse, Sex, and Cookies!

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Hello lovelies! Our blueeyedbabies had a shared birthday party last weekend and it went swimmingly. Really, and I think it was because I chose to simply relax and enjoy the party, have simple decorations, and to let go of my OCD tendencies.. Oh man, it was a little difficult. But honestly, WORTH IT!!!

And I could not have done it without my greeneyedgroom. I was so glad he was home and not on shift the night before, because it seems like that is always how it goes. I am thinking that is why it was a little easier to just relax and ‘whistle while I worked’ in a way, because thegreeneyedgroom is my calming person for sure!

Which is what we are called to be for each other in this life, really. I know I strive to be his, which is not always easy being a little of an anxiety ridden wifey at times; but God knows my heart and fills in the blanks. And for that I am forever grateful. We are in NO sense of the word ‘perfect’ spouses however, I never do I want to be a burden to him.

It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.

Proverbs 21:19

thegreeneyedgroom has been loving me very well lately. Isn’t that fun, when even though times are hard, your spouse is on your side and just hitting all the ways you need to be cared for? This does not come easy, marriage is not easy, however it comes from working well through conflict and coming out the other side a more skilled pair. Putting each other first goes a long way in that and today I want to focus on ways we can put other’s first in order to love them well, to help them heal, and to glorify God with our marriage.

There really is something about choosing to put another’s needs before our own. It is not easy, it is not our natural reflex, and it is just well.. not always fun. However, the way God loves us shows how rewarding and simple it can be if we MAKE it our reflex. If we make it our habit, our ‘go-to’ reaction in hard times, to love on someone else {like your spouse} without giving thought to how much it puts you and your needs in the back-seat.

HOW CAN WE MAKE PUTTING OTHERS FIRST OUR GUT REACTION?

Honestly, repetition. Making the decision, whole-heartedly, to put ourselves out of mind in that moment and to consciously focus on the other person’s needs. Try asking your self, ‘What can I do to make this better/quicker/easier for them?’

Our blueeyedbabyboy shows me how practicing putting other’s first becomes habit when his little sister is asking for his last animal cracker or beloved fruit snack, and without thinking, he hands it to her. He is being trained up to be a gentleman and a wonderful man of God, and he knows that ladies come first. He understands that when he asks his sister for something, she shares with him as well, and is never fearful that his needs won’t be met.

Listening, not just hearing what our spouse is saying, but understanding the ‘why.’ Try focusing on putting your self in their shoes, finding where this reaction is coming from, rather than just focusing on what you are going to say next. It is when we understand someone’s story, their heart, that we can SEE their heart, and it makes compassion come over us like a wave. This is not an easy task, but again… no one ever said marriage was easy; just worth it because you get to have sex and bake cookies for someone when ever you want.

Isn’t funny how loving on someone makes your heart softer? Loving on them is easy when you can see their heart and understand their hurt. But when you are hurting also, it is a difficult reflex to conjure up at times because naturally, we all want our pain taken care of first. I have found that if I have hurt thegreeneyedgroom’s feelings in any way, not only is saying sorry a great start, but explaining that you know what you did wrong and how you are going to avoid doing so in the future. This goes a LONG way in life, admitting that you are ‘working on it.’ And then, hugging them and letting them know you care. It is no surprise that physical touch and intimacy is a big way to show your husband you love him.

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Proverbs 31:10

Praying over your marriage is one of the most important things you can do for it to succeed. Try asking God to put on your heart a desire to put other’s first, to help you see your spouses needs before your own. Ask God to help you find patience through understanding, and intimacy through conflict. It is amazing to watch God work in your marriage and in your hearts when you welcome Him into your relationship.

Do you feel like this is just not possible, to get to a place where you would want to love your spouse more than your self? Are you guys in a place of discontent and you do not see a way of healing? Maybe your heart is so full of hurt you are not able to love on anyone right now, including your self? .. God can heal all things in His time, with His guidance, and with the understanding that you are not perfect, but made flawless by the cross.

And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

Never should you not take care of your self, or your needs, that is not what I am saying. Just that God calls us to take care of other’s needs before our own. He will provide the rest, He will heal the hurt in the relationship, He will give you the words to speak, He will give the guidance; if you let Him.

If you are interested in talking more about Jesus or maybe different avenues you can take to heal your hurt or to love on your spouse better, email me at thegreeneyedbride@yahoo.com – I might not have ALL the answers, however, I am here to listen, to pray, and to love on you any way I can.

Now, to cookies.. yum! These babies will just make you want to get in a fight so you can.. ahem, ‘make-up’.. and then eat these cookies!! You can find the recipe here – Zerrin is a genius and I just love her website!

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I didn’t use homemade greek yogurt, it was store-bought, but maybe next time I will be more ambitious. Also, I set my oven to 355 because it only does increments of five, and it worked great. Remember to read the ENTIRE recipe first, it’s a ‘two-bowl’ mix.

Also, I used vanilla extract instead of powder, so I just mixed it in with the egg and powdered sugar. I am not a huge fan of powdered sugar, however, we were out of raw sugar.. so it worked out kinda nicely. We put ‘mallows in them also and I only wish we had some sliced almonds for a more ‘rocky-road’ flavor. {the ‘mallows made cooking time increase to 14 min.}

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And theblueeyedbabies say they taste, amazing! They’ll be perfect for the baby shower I am hosting tomorrow.

I want to encourage you to put other’s first, especially your spouse, practice it! and watch how it’ll change the mood of your marriage. Also, I wish you lots of sex and cookies, because that’s really what being married is all about.. {just kidding, it’s about not having to change your own light-bulbs too.}

Thank you lovelies! Jesus loves you!

5 thoughts on “Loving Your Spouse, Sex, and Cookies!

  1. I always try to make my spouse first in my life-and he does for me too- but it’s funny how we both see it as different, because I show love in a different way than he does and vice versa. We need to do more remembering of our love languages

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